Est. 2026 · Vol. I · Independent

ANNOYING FUCKERY

Advancing civilization one eliminated stupidity at a time.

MUNICIPAL PARKING NOW REQUIRES AN APP, AN ACCOUNT, AND A WORKING SIGNAL IN A CONCRETE BASEMENT

The coin slots were removed in March. The app requires registration, a verification email, and mobile data at a location engineered to exclude it.

MUNICIPAL PARKING NOW REQUIRES AN APP, AN ACCOUNT, AND A WORKING SIGNAL IN A CONCRETE BASEMENT
Sample content. Payment terminal replaced by application-only enforcement.

The authority's case for removing coin payment is decent: collection costs, vandalism, staff time. We accept all of it. Our objection is narrower and, we think, harder to argue with — the replacement has a single point of failure and it is located inside a building made of signal-absorbing material.

To pay, a driver must download an application, create an account, confirm an email, add a card, select a zone, and remain connected long enough to complete a transaction. Enforcement, meanwhile, requires no connection at all. It requires a camera and a licence plate.

The people most affected are the ones least represented in the procurement meeting: drivers without smartphones, drivers with prepaid data, visitors on roaming, and anyone parking in a basement. Enforcement notices were issued to all of them.

There has been movement, and we record it fairly: a pay-by-SMS fallback launched in July. It works. It is also undocumented on the signage, which is why this case is partially fixed rather than closed.

Evidence & source material

  • PHOTOGRAPH

    Signage listing app as sole payment method

    Photographed after SMS fallback launched. Signage not updated.

  • MEASUREMENT

    Signal survey, level -2

    No usable data connection on three carriers at nine of twelve bays.

  • DOCUMENT

    Enforcement notice issued during outage window

    Notice timestamp falls inside a documented payment-platform outage.

Response from the responsible party

No response received. The right of reply remains open indefinitely and any statement will be published here in full, unedited.

Case updates

  1. 27 Aug 2026

    INQUIRY SENT

    Asked when signage will mention the fallback. Awaiting answer.

  2. 15 Jul 2026

    PARTIALLY FIXED

    Pay-by-SMS fallback launched. Score reduced to 8.3. Signage still lists app only.

  3. 11 Apr 2026

    CASE OPENED

    Opened at AF 9.0 after coin payment removal.

Reader assessment

Reader votes are advisory. They inform the frequency factor; they do not set the score.

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