CARMAKER RESTORES PHYSICAL BUTTONS AFTER ADMITTING DRIVERS DISLIKE LOOKING AWAY FROM ROAD
Wipers, demist, hazard lights and temperature returned to hardware in the 2027 refresh. The company said the touchscreen-only layout had been a mistake. We are obliged to report this pleasantly.
FUCKERY ELIMINATED
Humanity +3
We opened this case at 8.7 and we are closing it at 2.1, which is the best sentence this publication gets to write.
The original layout put windscreen wipers three taps into a menu. Demist was a submenu. Cabin temperature required a swipe on a moving vehicle. The justification offered at launch was that a single screen enabled over-the-air improvement of the interface, which is true and irrelevant, because the interface being improved was one a driver must operate with their eyes on something else.
In the 2027 refresh, wipers, demist, hazards and temperature are physical controls with detents you can find by touch. A senior engineer, on the record, said the earlier decision "prioritised the studio over the driver." That is a more honest sentence than most of the responses in our files.
Score reduced from 8.7 to 2.1. Not zero: the outgoing cars still exist, and their owners still tap three times for wipers. But the fuckery has stopped being manufactured, and that is what elimination means here.
Evidence & source material
- PHOTOGRAPH
2026 console vs 2027 refresh console
Four functions returned to hardware controls with tactile detents.
- DOCUMENT
Manufacturer engineering statement
On the record, attributed, dated. Rare and worth noting.
Response from the responsible party
“The earlier layout prioritised the studio over the driver. Primary controls belong under the hand, not in a menu.”
Editor’s noteWe have no notes. This is how it is done.
Case updates
FUCKERY ELIMINATED — HUMANITY +3
Physical controls confirmed shipping in the 2027 refresh. Score reduced 8.7 → 2.1. Case preserved, not deleted.
RESPONSE RECEIVED
Manufacturer confirmed an interface review was underway. Score held.
CASE OPENED
Opened at AF 8.7. Classified Automotive Fuckery / Interface Relocation Without Cause.
Reader assessment
Reader votes are advisory. They inform the frequency factor; they do not set the score.